post haste? an exercise in patience!

I recently ordered something from an online retailer. A few weeks later this email showed up in my inbox...

I am writing in regard to an order you placed with us almost two weeks ago. I have been attempting to contact you but your phone number in invalid. Your packages have been returned to us twice by Star Track couriers, as they say the address is invalid. I am reluctant to send it out a third time if it is not going to reach you again. If we can send it to a residential or business address I think that would be best. 

this happens all the time 

As does this telephone conversation...

"...No, a courier can not come to Norfolk Island (not unless they own scuba gear, a hovercraft or have gills and fins)...it's hard not to be really sarcastic

"...Yes we do have a NSW postcode, I know, that does make it confusing"

"...yes, we are a long way away....1600 km's from Australia...in the middle of the South Pacific"

"...No, it won't arrive in the next few days...that's OK, we are used to waiting weeks and months"

"...Yes...it can be sent via air mail....but ONLY if you send it as express post"

"...Yes we do have a phone...you need to ring the international code first"

"...that's right, no one here has a house letter box....yes we all have a post box at the post office"

then we get quizzed about island life...

"...oh yes, we love living here" snail mail and all!

If a parcel travels by ship, expect it to take at least six weeks to arrive. It can take up to 12 weeks if the seas are rough. The majority of our mail travels by ship! Sure, we receive air mail too (letters, postcards, bills)...but only parcels posted in an Express Post bag have the privilege of a plane ride (with some exceptions). Expected time of arrival? Hmmmm...anywhere between 5 and 14 days. No Express Post bag? Sorry...the ship it is (I hope you don't get sea sick). 

Slow mail? Yes! But we don't mind, truly. It's all part and parcel (hee hee) of living on a small remote island.